Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Tuesday, October 31

No tricks....just treats!!!

Here I am. Hallowe'en night. I was Cinderella apparently. Mama says she was a very beautiful girl who was in love with a prince. This was fitting since I am a gorgeous female and my boyfriend T-Man is my prince. I was not crazy about the outfit but, a good sport.

Here I am waiting in the window for the children to arrive.That's the best part of Hallowe'en! I just adore kiddies!

I started to get a little discouraged when nobody came to the door.

And the darn outfit was starting to get to me but, it caused a lot of people to OOH and AAH so I kept it on. I love attention.

I don't know how human woman can stand wearing this stuff.

WOOHOO! More kids coming!! Turns out wearing this stupid outfit was worth it afterall!

I made the best Cinderella. Except I have no evil step sisters, no ball to go to and I still look gorgeous even AFTER midnight. HAPPY HALLOWE'EN EVERYONE!

Saturday, October 28

Orange Invasion

Mama and I went out to the porch so that I could help her do some decorating. She put up some scary faces and dangly things all over the porch. Not sure what the heck she is doing. Last year around this time she did the same thing and soon the neighbourhood was over ridden with orange things. These huge round orange things. I panicked. I thought we were being taken over by orange aliens. Mama and Papa however weren't concerned about it and so I stopped fretting about them. The next thing I knew they were on our porch! I hope they don't come again this year....But, if they do...I'll be ready for them!!!

Thursday, October 26

Dog's Best Friend

I would like to tell you about my best human friend. (Besides Mama and Papa ofcourse) My best human friend is named Audrey. She lives up the road from us. She is 91 years old in people years. I would calculate what that is in dog years for you but, I can't count that high. Let's just say humans would refer to her as a senior citizen. Her age means nothing to me. She is one of the youngest people at heart that we know. I met Audrey almost two years ago. She had seen Mama and I walk by her house everyday. Audrey had mentioned to a neighbour of hers that she thought I was adorable and so regal looking the way I prounce all up and down the road. Long story short, the neighbour Audrey knew told Mama and told her to stop by and visit Audrey once in a while since Audrey wanted desperately to meet Chelsea. It started out as a visit once a week or twice a week and now we go there every weekend! I get to see Audrey every Saturday and Sunday! We love going to visit her. Mama and I thought we would go there to make Audrey's day....turns out it's Audrey who always makes ours!!!

Here I am with my best human buddy. I love you Audrey!!

Wednesday, October 25

The brunette in the charger

There's this famous human named Suzanne Somers. She is famous for being on some show called "Three's Company" That was Mama's favorite show when she was little. (Which was AGES ago but, don't tell her I told you that) Anyhow, this famous woman made her debut in a film called American Grafitti. The film is even older than Mama I think. So this Suzanne woman was in the movie and got really popular even though she had a scene for only a few minutes. She was known as the "Blonde in the T-Bird".
Mama, being my agent and spokesperson had a brilliant idea. If it worked for Suzanne Somers, it could work for me. I am already a famous supermodel in the doggie world but, Mama wants to break me into film. So, she did this photo shoot to try and get me some movie offers.

Suzanne may have been the blonde in the T-Bird but, soon nobody will remember her. Once they see the brunette in the charger.

That Mama......brilliant.
Better go get ready to take some calls from big time producers!
Here's Mama and I posing. Notice how she wears a black jacket so that I blend in and you barely notice me. Mama can't stand competition. I can't blame her. Would you want to pose beside a supermodel?
Don't hate me because I am beautiful folks.

Monday, October 23

More Doggie friends for us all!

Hey everyone! My doggie cousins Jessie and Jake have their own blog now. (It's about time!) I guess they realized it's all the rage and any doggie who's somedoggie has one.
Please stop by and say hello to them!!
This is all of us hanging out being couch potatoes. Potatoes of the sweet pursuasion of course.

Sunday, October 22

Working it for the camera

Here I am working it for the camera. Being a supermodel just comes natural to me. Don't hate me because I am beautiful. I am taking the supermodel world by storm and making people and doggies alike turn heads. Not just because I am adorable and you just want to kiss me all over when you see me but, because I am a supermodel who actually EATS. Yes, what a concept! I love to eat, have some meat on me, a booty to make rap video girls envious and I am still a supermodel.
I am breaking the mold people.

Thursday, October 19

Friendly Strangers

Normally when Mama takes me walkies we meet friendly strangers who ooh and ahh about how cute I am. Not today. This upsets me. We must of passed 16 different people on our walk and not ONE stopped to say hello. Meanwhile, I was choking myself to get to these folks! One or two gave me a disapproving look, one crossed the street to avoid me and all the others were just oblivious. Mama cuddled me when we got home and just told me that people are on their way home from work and too busy or not paying attention.

I personally think there was some type of fundraiser for blind people and they were walking in the area. How else do you explain it?
How could you pass a cute thing like me and not want to stop and say hello???

Wednesday, October 18

Mama's going to be obedient soon!

Mama came home early today! She is on some training course this week. I am so glad. Not just because she takes me for longer walks and spends more time with me but, maybe she'll finally learn how to heel and stop barking.
Hey, I had to endure training, it's about time she did!

OH - Please vote for my boyfriend T-Man for the blog of October. I did and now you must!! Those of you with memberships go to the blogs with dogs website under the message boards where it says AWESOME BLOG FOR OCTOBER.

Let's get my man recognized. First the blog of the month, then who knows...president. There has never been a supermodel first Lady...and it's about time there was.

Tuesday, October 17


I got up this morning to the sound of Mama's clinking plates - BREAKFAST! I ran downstairs, she gave me a bit to eat and kept kissing and cuddling me. More than usual. I knew something was up. I went back to sleep with Papa for about an hour and then we got up. Papa started up the truck and we got in. I was so excited! I wondered who's house we were going to or maybe to visit Mama at work? My tail was wagging fiercely - until I saw our destination.
The vet.
I started to shake and cry as I always do when we go to that dreadful building.
The vet had to squeeze my anal glands again. I have this problem often. It affects little dogs frequently. It seems I don't empty my glands out naturally like most doggies do so I need some help now and then from the vet.
I feel way better now. The vet told me that Papa and Mama are very good human parents to take me there when they notice I have discomfort with my bum bum. If I don't get the glands squeezed then I could get an abcess. And that would be very bad.
So, even though I was kind of mad about the "surprise" visit, I must admit I feel so much better now.
A little embarassed.
But, better.

Sunday, October 15

No wedding

T-Man and I are not getting married. Not today anyways. Turns out the big hoopla was because Mama had a party. I was thrilled! I love when people come over. I love people in general. And these people were really nice. Mama had a girls only party so I got to stay because I am a girl and the light of her life, apple of her eye....need I go on?
I charmed the pants off of everybody. No, nobody took their clothes off - it wasn't that kind of party but, you know what I mean.
Time for a nap. I'm tired from being adorable, loveable and all around entertaining. Also my legs hurt from scampering back and forth trying to catch falling food from people's plates. Usually, I stick to the drunk people cuz they are clumsy and drop everything but, this time no drunk people so I had to improvise and just bat my pretty eyelashes for table scraps.
For more info on Mama's big estrogen party go here:

Yawn. Later.

Thursday, October 12

Somethings up.

Mama and Papa are running around, rearranging furniture, buying lots of food, cleaning up and worst of all I am not getting as much attention as I am used to. Something must be up. Usually this type of behavior means that we are having company. Oddly enough they have been doing this for days now and company.
Maybe they are surprising me by having a surprise party with all my blogging friends? Or perhaps a wedding! T-Man is coming to ask my Papa's permission to have my paw in marriage? I am so excited now I can't think of anything else.
Except chicken maybe.
Yep, definitely got chicken on my mind now.

Wednesday, October 11

Tae Bo sucks

The weather was awful today. Rainy, wet, windy and I was deprived of my walk. Very depressed. Sat around moping while Mama bounced all over the living room doing her Tae Bo crap. I always push tennis balls in front of Mama's feet with my nose while she's excercising. A couple of times she almost fell and wants to discipline me but, she can't because she's in the groove and sweating and stuff so she just grunts and kicks the ball somewhere I can get at. I hate when Mama works out because she doesn't pay attention to me. One of these days my tennis ball decoy will work and I will trip her enough so that she hurts herself and can't do tae bo but, NOT enough so she can't play with me, walk me and cuddle me.
Poodles need full attention of their human companions of all times. Why should we settle for less?

Tuesday, October 10

Paint the town

Papa's on another one of his painting projects. He's painting the hallway. I am not allowed to go near it. One, because the fumes although not strong could hurt me and two, because Papa's afraid I am going to try and lick the paint dish. As if I would.
I'm a poodle, I got class.
I think it would be fun though to get one white stripe painted down my back and then I could go out and terrorize the neighbourhood kitty cats. But, the weird thing is.....I like kitty cats. They just don't like me very much. Sigh.

Monday, October 9

All the fixin's

We celebrated Thanksgiving this weekend. It was yummy! My aunt had us over and we ate so much turkey that I am positive someone is going to start making gobble noises soon. I got to see my human cousins and my doggie cousins. I had so much fun and ran around and cuddled everyone at least once. I am tired today. Must be the turkey. They say that turkey makes you tired. They also say you are what you eat. That means Mama is a turkey. Hee hee.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, October 6

Laundry day

Time for laundry. I love helping Mama do the laundry. Sometimes Mama carries me in the basket along with the clothes to the laundry room. She's being doing that since I was a baby. I love it. I feel like one of those regal human women from Cleopatra's days that used to be carried around everywhere on those slabs.
In fact, I should be carried around daily. I am regal. I am a goddess. A princess. I am worthy.
Must speak to Mama about doing this on a daily basis. Wether there is laundry or not.

Thursday, October 5

Human grooming

Mama came home late again. I think she went to get groomed cuz when she left this morning she had one eyebrow and came home with two. Her nails are all pretty and painted nice too. She doesn't seem to find the whole experience traumatic - in fact she was all smiles and giddy when she came home. I guess her groomer doesn't shave her bum bum. Unless of course the groomer does and Mama is sicker than I originally thought.
Anyhow, she's all glowing and stuff so can't type for me so I decided to take matters into my own hands and do my own blog. My paws get in the way but I manage.
Hey....are those crumbs on the keyboard?
Gotta go!

Wednesday, October 4

Mama's tired

No photo today folks. Mama's tired. She says she's been - and I quote "working like a dog"
I'm confused.
She says it like it's a bad thing.
If working like a dog means:
sleeping on the big bed until 11am, having some kibble, going pee, poop, back to bed, waking for playtime and eating more kibble, pooping again, going for a walk, playing, licking paws, peeing, waiting for dinner to be ready, eating, eating some more, more play time, licking paws, peeing, lounging and then going to bed.....what the heck's wrong with that??

Tuesday, October 3

Don't let the sun go down on me!

The weather's been nice lately. It rained cats and dogs this morning (and please no cracks about stepping in a poodle...I find that joke rather offensive) But later in the day it was gorgeous! Mama took me for a nice long walk to make up for the fact that she worked late - yet again and I got a nice slab of chicken for dinner.
All is well around here. Hope the weather stays like this for a while! I live in Canada so the winters are very cold and just around the corner. I just wanna yell BRRRRRR just thinking about it!
Anyhow, too bad Mama didn't get my true essence in this photo. In the sunlight, I have the lovliest red highlights around my snoot. (If I do say so myself)

Monday, October 2

Stairway to Heaven

Yes T-Man.
Here it is. The stairway to heaven.

See if your mom has Led Zepplin in her cd collection and then take a listen to the song "Stairway to Heaven." I am sure they were referring to me when they wrote it. They must of been. After all, they also wrote the song "Black Dog"

Yep, about me as well.
And everyone wonders why I think the world revolves around me. It's simple. It's because it does.

Sunday, October 1

Caught white handed!

Mama thought I was peacefully playing in my poodle room (A pink and white room Mama and Papa created especially for moi) Truth was, Mama was cleaning and running around doing stuff and not paying enough attention to me. So I got bored and ripped up the white comforter on my poodle bed. I figured that should get her attention since I am always so well behaved and never rip anything up. It's time Mama saw how neglected doggies acted! Well, When she first came into the room and found me I panicked. I was not sure if she would be upset with me. So I casually looked away as if ripping up comforters was no cause of concern and very natural behavior.

However, Mama let out a big gasp noise and ran off. I thought she was really upset with me. Then she came running in the room with her camera. Of all things! Turns out she thought it was the cutest thing she ever saw. (I wonder if she would of felt the same way if it were one of her shoes?)
Mama even called Papa to come and see and they had a good laugh about it. Humans are weird.