Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Tuesday, January 31


That's Chinese and probably spelt wrong but, it means HAPPY NEW YEAR. It was Chinese New Year on the 29th of January and it is the year of the dog. That's me.
Well, technically it's NOT me. You see, I was born in 2004 and according to the Chinese horoscope the animal you are depends solely on the year you were born. So....I am a MONKEY!!! Mama's a monkey too. Papa's an Ox. Wow it's like a zoo at my house. That explains a lot!
There is also a new year tradition that the married people give the single people an envelope with money in it. I havn't gotten mine yet. Mama or Papa if you are reading this...skip the money and slip me a nice chicken drumstick will ya?
Anyhow if you are interested and want to know what sign you are, what it all means then read this.

Monday, January 30

Mama??? Mama? Where are thou Mama?

Mama was gone all day. Again. Papa was working at home. He was nice and let me have some of his lunch, played with me a little but, he was busy. I thought maybe she had gone out hunting for food like she does a couple times a week but, no such luck. I waited in the window, on the stairs, by the back door.........nothing. Finally she came back! She gave me so many kisses I thought she was going to slobber me to death. She missed me even more than I missed her! I love my Mama - I hope she stays home tomorrow with me.

Sunday, January 29

Leftover heaven!

I got some great leftovers today. That is one of the best parts of having people over. The weather sucked though. Mama took me out in the miserable rain. At first I didn't want to go but, once we started walking it was ok. Especially cuz I got a cut up hot dog when I got home! Somethings are worth getting wet for.

Saturday, January 28

A night at the Movies!

Mama's friends came over and we got to watch movies! Movies mean one thing. SNACKS. Lots and lots of snacks. We had popcorn, natchos, pizza, chicken and chips. Mama was amazed that she did not need to vacuum after everyone left. Thanks to me that is and my hoover suction tummy.
You know how they always show the MGM lion at the beginning of movies? They should show a poodle. In fact they should show me.
Just a thought.

Friday, January 27

Mama's obedient now.

Mama had to go for some training today. I wonder if she went to Pet Smart like I had to. But, when I went for my training, Mama took me. She went alone. I was mad for a while. How come she gets to go to training without me? I love PETSMART! It smells like a big bone. Dog Heaven I tell you.
Well she finally came home and brought me two new toys so I gave her lots of kisses and forgave her immediately.

I have seen her sit, stay and lie down but, I have never seen her roll over yet. Maybe she needs to go back.

Thursday, January 26


Mama's went and got herself some assignment where she's gone all day and will be for weeks, possibly months. Papa is busy and worked from home today but, I spent most of the day playing by myself and sleeping.

When Mama came home I went nuts! She bought me two new tennis balls and a big pack of chicken legs for dinner.
Guilt is a lovely thing..........ain't it?

Wednesday, January 25

Missing my Mama today!

Mama went out ALL day today. I missed her so much that I waited by the door all day. When she came home I wents nutso!!! She took me out for two short walks. I was glad though because it was so cold my ears were flapping in the wind!
Papa was home but, very busy working so I just barked at all the people who walked by. How dare they? This is my territory! A girl's gotta protect her toys, tennis balls, treats, snacks, water and care givers you know!

Tuesday, January 24

Ode to balls....

Ode to my favorite toys....balls.

You roll
I run
I catch you inside
and under the sun

You roll
I push you away
You roll back to me
I love to play

You roll
and go under the furniture so grave
I summon Mama to save you...CUZ she is my slave....

I am pretty talented huh? It's the poodle in me. Only second to a border collie when it comes to intelligence.

Monday, January 23

Me and Moosey

This is Moosey. Santa Paws gave him to me at Christmas. I love Moosey.

He' one of my favorite toys. I lick his hooves to keep him clean since he has no Mama.

Sunday, January 22


I played with Papa for hours today! He even moved the coffee table so that I could run around the living room.

I feel so much better now that I am groomed.

And look how slim it makes me look!

This is my groomed silhouette. Mama and Papa think I am the most beautiful girl in the world. And why not flaunt it?

Saturday, January 21

I'm a snow angel!

I played outside today. Mama and I slept in until 3pm! (And she wasn't even drinking last night) I went to bed at 2am and Mama went to bed at 5am. So she was too tired to take me for a walk so we played out in the backyard. I was looking for some old treats I dug back there until I finally realized I dug them back up and ate them last time the snow melted.
I just love running in the snow.

I also like to bark at the people in the parking lot behind our house. They pretend not to be scared but, I know I intimidate them!

I checked the perimeter of the yard just to make sure no intruders or those silly squirrels weren't around.

I made lots of yellow snow too. That is so fun!

Friday, January 20

You can see my face!

I went and got groomed today. Wasn't thrilled about being there. I never am. But, once I got back home and Mama, Papa, the whole neighbourhood kept gushing on how beautiful I am ....then I realized it was all worth it.
We had company tonight. Mama's friends came over and stayed until the next day. I lasted until about 2 am and then went to bed. I need my beauty sleep. Especially now that my gorgeous face is revealed to the world.

Thursday, January 19

There's no escaping it....

Darn it all. Mama made a grooming appointment for me tomorrow morning. I am praying for another ice storm cuz last time Papa had to cancel my appointment.
I've had a rough week people....first the vet now this. Mama and Papa are pushing it. The only reason I just cooperate is because I will be showered with treats and sympathy for days....

I'll post some before and afters tomorrow. I do end up looking pretty so I guess I have to suck it up and be a victim for beauty's sake....isn't that what females do?

Wednesday, January 18

Where to go?

Mama didn't have to work today so we spent all day together. She took me for a walk even though it was miserable and we went around visiting. Then Mama's friends came over for dinner! Mama made a great chicken dish and I got to sit at the table and each with them! Yum yum in my tum tum I tell ya!
Mama's friend has two teenage kids and they absolutely adored most do. I kept jumping from lap to lap....not sure who to go to cuz they all loved me so much. I got lots of attention and all my toys were all over the house because I had two playmates!!! Then I got to go in the car when Mama drove them home.
I had the best time but, really exhausting. Being charming takes a lot of energy. Beddy bye time.

Tuesday, January 17

Home Alone!

I'm a big girl now. Mama and Papa left me home alone for a long time. Well, consider I am hardly ever alone. I watched the house. Barked at some noises, terrorized the mail man, ran around pushing my tennis balls with my stuffed animals....and slept for the most part. My bum bum is much better. The weather very bad today and apparently I was suppose to have a dreaded grooming appointment but, Papa cancelled it because of the icy road conditions. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Weather Gods....

Monday, January 16

I am mad.

I am so upset today. I had a nice day except that my bum bum has been itchy for the last couple of days so as anyone would do (I would think) I have been licking it excessively. All of the sudden after my walk and a few unexpected treats...Mama and Papa and I all get into the truck. I am so excited, tail wagging, looking out the window. I feel great. I wonder who we are going to go visit.
Then the next thing I know. There I am. Shaking like a leaf in the vet's office. They tricked me!!! No wonder I've been getting away with a lot lately. I've been played for a fool! The vet checked my bum bum, put his finger inside and ..........I am completely tramautized. All that and he never even gave me flowers or a treat.....all the vet did was he told me over and over what a good doggie I am.
Anyhow, I was really mad at Mama all evening. (She's the one who came in the room with me) She bribed me with some chicken drumsticks and finally got a kiss out of me but, believe me it was not heart felt!
My bum bum still itches so a lot of good that dreaded visit did me!
Too upset to type anymore. Tomorrow's gotta be just can't get any worse.

Sunday, January 15

G day's coming...

I am itchy and irritable and uncomforable and hairy as heck. I have knots all over my legs even though Mama has attempted to brush them out - some still remain. Papa keeps commenting that he can't see my eyes. I kind of like when Mama and Papa can't see my eyes. I can hide stuff a lot better. Normally if I hide a bone or steal a sock from the laundry bin....the guilt shows in my eyes..with all this hair I've got those two fooled every minute. I hope my grooming appointment isn't soon because it was freezing today. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..... I'm gonna need my fur coat extra furry for a little while longer.

Saturday, January 14

Something's up

I know something is up. Mama and Papa are being so nice to me. Well, they always are but, EXTRA EXTRA SUCKY nice to me like they know something I don't. I overheard Mama make the grooming appointment...maybe that's it.
Anyhow, as long as chicken is involved in abundance I'll play along.

Friday, January 13

Friday the 13th

I lay low today...lterally. Here I am. You can see one of my eyes but, not the other. I need to be groomed and heard Mama make an appointment for me. Darn.
Anyhow, some humans believe that Friday the 13th is bad luck. I guess it's true because that groomer was contacted today. Apparently black cats are bad luck too? I'm a black dog so that makes me a species away from being a trouble maker. Anyhow, nothing bad happened except for Mama's phone call.

Thursday, January 12

I'm working on it.

Auntie Gloria gave me an idea. She says I should ask for what you humans refer to as "Allowance." Great idea but, I can't talk so how am I going to ask? I barked a heck of a lot today but, Mama just thought I heard a noise or wanted attention. I tried going on a hunger strike that lasted all but 20 minutes. Not really sure how to tell Mama I want some money every week. Where would I put it though? I don't have pockets. I could hide the coins in the back yard but, I don't trust those rascally squirrels. If it ain't nailed down, they'll take it.

I'm gonna have to think about this some more.
Over some water and a biscuit.
Later peeps.

Wednesday, January 11

Finally....a blog!

Mama finally let me use the computer! I updated the last 3 days all in one night. Boy, my paws hurt. I had a great day. Mama was home and we went for a walk, went visiting and then Mama chased me around the house. It's her new thing. She runs after me and says in a high pitch irritating tone "I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get your bum bum..."

I know, it could be worse. It could be a rotweiller chasing me and saying the same thing...I just don't know where Mama gets these crazy sayings of hers. Her latest nickname for me is sugar plum. She's been calling me this now since Christmas. Between Mama and Papa I have 4,532 nicknames....and they shake they head dumbfounded when they call me by my REAL name and I don't come running instantly. It's ll their fault.

Anyhow, crazy Mama is coming up the stairs and I think she's coming after me. Gotta go. Missed ya peeps. Bye

Tuesday, January 10

I need my own computer.

Mama worked today so she was blogging all night. I didn't get a chance to use the computer this is a late, late post.
I want my own computer. I am writing a letter to SANTA PAWS right now. I want high speed connection and an mp3 player too. I just love the songs "Hound Dog" , "Who let the dogs out" And "Puppy Love"

Anyhow, I can't recall what I did today except I had some yummy chicken for dinner. I just burped and it smelled good.

Monday, January 9

Couldn't use the computer! Mama on it.

Mama has been slacking off with my blog again. As only my truest of fans would notice (Thanks Auntie Gloria for giving my Mama a kick in the butt to update this!)

See even though I write my own blog I do need Mama's help in getting into the computer chair because I can't reach it on my own. Everytime I try and get on the chair Mama's butt is in it and she is doing her silly celebrity blog. Who cares? Not me.

The dog blog is way better I say. Then again, it is my blog.

Saturday, January 7

You's so true.

Friday, January 6


My human friends Dominique and Enis who live on my street and love me...came over to visit and brought my doggie friends Gina and Lucky. Gina is a female schnauzer and Lucky is a male shitzu. I was so excited! We all were! The girls tried to gather us for a photo but, us doggies were too excited to sit still.

Mama cut their heads off in this photo. I hope she isn't planning on becoming a photographer anytime soon....

Then all us doggies began running around so Mama missed the shot again.

Finally! A decent photo...except Lucky is missing. Dominique is petting me and Gina is not very happy about that. Gina is very protective of her owner. Besides, I am a bit of an instigator and risk Gina's wrath just for a little attention....

Here we are...The Three Amigos, Charlie's Angels, Jack, Chrissy and Janet, the Three Muskateers, Destiny's child...however you wanna call it. We are all the same size so it works out well. Gina is an alpha dog - while Lucky and I are submissive so it is perfect. Nobody is competing for the head of the pack title...Lucky and I gladly allow Gina to have that. Anyhow, I had a blast. Everything was great.... Oh except Lucky kept trying to hump Gina. I stayed away. I like cats. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Thursday, January 5

Me and my......Mama.

Here I am with Mama. We just happen to be hanging out on the steps. Yeah...right. Well, it's a good thing I am so photogenic and used to posing for all these photos. I look great here don't I? I should be in magazines, commercials, name it. Surely there's a market for genetically blessed black poodles???? I gotta give props to my biological father Kirby who is a black poodle and my biological mother Tisha who is a gray schnauzer. You see Mama and Papa adopted me. They did me a favor too...I had two brothers and a sister who never let me get near the food bowl. Now I got my own food fact, a couple of them. So if any of my siblings are reading this....NA NA NA NA POO POO!

One of my brothers was adopted and sent to a farm, one is missing in action and as for my sister...I hear she is doing internet work. That hussy. I - as you know am living in the lap of luxury with great adopted parents and everything I want or need at my beckon call.
Ok, back to the photos.....Here's pose number two. Not one of Mama's best photos but, let's face it, I save her here. I am so cute and adorable that you don't even notice Mama. She was squishing me a bit here but, being the professional that I don't even notice my discomfort one bit!

And....Mama goes in for the cuddle....I liked this part. I love cuddling. I love Mama. I love everything. Well, almost everything....NOT the post man and NOT that fat Jack Russell up the road who always growls at me. Jealousy will get her nowhere.
That's all for now. Nightie night peeps ....oh, and 8 x 10 glossies are available upon request. Speak to my agent. That's Mama. Bye.

Wednesday, January 4

Silly Mama

This photo is going on Mama's blog. I am in it too but, you can barely see me as I desperately need another grooming. (Did I just say that?)
Mama has a really silly blog about Celebrities. I still think my blog is better. Mine is about real life. Food, sleep, eating, resting, playing, hanging out, socializing and just being me. Isn't that way more interesting? I sure think so.

Tuesday, January 3

Yawn Yawn Yawn

Too tired to pose for photos or write much.

Later peeps

Monday, January 2


I had a great New Year! I didn't update because I had a doggie hangover. No, I didn't drink alcohol silly....doggies get hangovers from parties too. But, ours are caused from entertaining, being entertained, trying to be charming and adorable all evening. Looks easy but, it ain't .....Here are some highlights....
Mama's friend and my Auntie Sara came by to wish us a HAPPY NEW YEAR. Sara cuddles me a lot and let me jump all over her even though she was all dressed up pretty and fancy.

My buddies Duncan and Mackenzie were here too. I love them so much and they love me back. I kept licking Mackenzie and jumping on Duncan. It's rare someone as small as me is in da house!

We had so much fun. We ate and ate and ate. You know me...I was all over that. I tried to sneak some cheese off a tray and got in big trouble. Mama reminded me that was one of my resolutions. But, it wasn't midnight yet when I did it so in my doesn't count.

We watched a movie too. Well, the boys and I did. I stuck with the boys a lot seeing as they drop the most crumbs....I'm no fool.

I was really proud of Papa who even barbecued meat and fish. It was so good. He is a great host. He makes Martha Stewart look like an amateur. Here he is with his famous tongs and our friend Kirk.

Mama took me out for my first pee of 2006. You can tell she's was into the eggnog...... again.

Auntie Arifa was smiling all night. The more red stuff she drank, the happier she got. (I don't think that was ginseng)

I think Auntie Wendy was pretty "happy" too. This is one of the photos she took. Um, Auntie Wendy, they call it "Focus" for a reason...I still love you though.

Here's the boys with their Mama and me with my Mama....I'm in there somewhere. Mama needs to start wearing light colors for my sake.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! It certainly will be for me!!