Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Sunday, April 29

I forgot the pawty!

This weekend was so lovely and we were so busy enjoying that I forgot all about the wine and cheese pawty that Sunshade organized with the dogs with blogs network.

I sure hope there is another one!

Wednesday, April 25

Don't go without me!

This is what I do when I see BOTH Mama and Papa getting dressed and making themselves look decent. Usually it's just Mama in the morning before she goes to work. Not that Papa never's just that he works from home so he usually gets up and ready later in the morning. So I know that when they are both getting primped at the same time this only means one thing.
A family outing.
At least that is what I hope. So I stand guard at the top of the stairs while Mama is putting guck on her face in the upper bathroom and Papa is slapping on cologne in the lower bathroom.
I keep my eyes on them at the same time and keep my paws crossed that I am also going on this adventure with them.
I almost always do by the way.....

Monday, April 23

Back off boys!

This post goes out to all the boy doggies I see when I go for my walkies. BACK OFF! What is it with them trying to jump on my back? What gives? Don't they know what the meaning of chivalry is? A girl likes to be seduced slowly, not hit on like a cheap pinata!
Not that I would be interested as I have a darling boyfriend with class, sophistication and a great sense of style. My precious T-Man. And it works out so perfectly because we look exactly alike. And they say perfection can't be duplicated.
So all you male doggies. Please have some respect. I am a lady and demand to be treated like one!
Mind you, I can't blame the furry boys. After all, just look at my fine physique in action.

Sunday, April 22

Life of the party!

I went to my neighbour Audrey's 92nd birthday party today. We had a nice lunch and then Mama and the others had tea. I didn't get to have cake since Mama seems to be dieting...again. (And somehow I need to suffer because of this) I did luck out though since Mama only nibbled on salad so I got her other food on her plate! Woohoo!
I went from lap to lap to satisfy all my adoring fans. I was really the hit of the party. Even Audrey the birthday girl said so!
I had a blast and need to go rest now. Being Miss Hospitality is really draining. Rewarding but, draining.

Thursday, April 19

Lamb-ie and me

Lambie is one of my stuffed peeps. In fact besides a beat up old sock...Lambie was my first toy ever. You see when Papa and Mama went to get me they were totally unprepared. On their way home after they got me, they had to buy me a crate, some food, a blankie and they were so rushed and excited they forgot to buy me a toy. Quick thinking Papa tied up an old sock and gave it to me to play with. I loved it!
Mama told her friends the next day and one of them bought me little Lambie. (Surely her friends thought this was puppy abuse! No toys - how rude!)
Anyhow, I have TONS of toys now. More than I ever dreamed of and I love them all. Each one is special to me and I take very good care of them.
I still have a thing for socks though.

Wednesday, April 18

Walkies Weather

It was so nice today. Mama took me for a nice long walkies. That black blob at the bottom of the ravine is NOT me. It's just a black blob. Mama will not let me go down there. She also won't let me off leash. She says it's because she can't trust me. She says I don't listen to her.
And yet, when I pause every two minutes to sniff leaves, debris and grass she tugs on my leash.
Who doesn't listen to who here? Hmpft!

Monday, April 16

It's just poop!

Mama and I went for our usual walk and as per my usual routine I stopped to drop some poop and relieve myself. I picked a huge lawn to do it on today. Much to Mama's dismay, some women yelled at her and told her not to let me poop there. Even after Mama had picked it up with a doggie bag. (Yes, that is what the true meaning of doggie bags is)
Anyhow, Mama was pretty mad. Afterall, how can she help why I choose to load off my stuff. She has no say in th matter.
As for that big mouth woman doesn't she know I am important? She should be honoured that I chose her lawn to poop on.
I am practically royalty...thus the reason I have someone to pick up my poop in the first place.
Mama told Papa she is going back there at 4 in the morning to take a dump on that lady's lawn.
Not sure what that means but, I think it's part of a revenge plan.

Oh, And I don't think Mama would appreciate me telling you that so let's keep this secret between you, me and the internet.

Sunday, April 15

Visting my buddy Audrey

I have a routine every weekend with Mama when we go for our walkies we always stop by our neighbour and friend Audrey's house for a visit. We love going there. Especially me. First I wag my tail like it's nobody's business while we wait for Audrey to answer the door. When she does, I skirt past her and run to the coffee table right away. There is always a treat waiting for me. Here I am scooping up my snack. (And YES I am allowed up on the table)

Then I put on my best puppy dog eyes and hope for more. (Successful EVERY time)

Then when my belly is semi - satifisfied. I love to cuddle up with Audrey. Usual I have to vie for her attention because Mama is constantly BLAH-BLAH-Babble - ing.

As you can see. I am way cuter than Mama and I always win Audrey's devotion.

Thursday, April 12

Update on the kitty cat

Kitty cat has not returned! Can I get a WOOT WOOT?
Must be my bark. I made sure to get really serious and instead of my usual "I wanna play" bark I had to resort to my "I am going to rip your head off" bark. Must of worked. Kitty has not come around again.
Go on with my bad self.
That's right.
I am still queen of my domain.
That kitty cat knows he cannot compete with me for my Mama's attention and devotion.
I think he has moved on to some other human sucker.
Good riddance!

Wednesday, April 11

Brazen kitty!

That darn kitty cat came back again! It keeps trying to steal my Mama from me. Mama likes to go out and pet it and rub it's belly. It is really disgusting behavior on both their parts. Mama gave it a piece of cereal and some milk so now it may never go away. This is what the little bastard looks like.

I've got the advantage still. I am allowed in the house! Hee hee. So I just taunt the kitty cat through the window. Truth be known, I like the little bugger. I wag my tail ferociously when I see him. I wouldn't mind if he was coming around to see me....but, he's coming around for my Mama!

NOBODY and I mean NOBODY comes between me and my Mama. Kitty cat....if you are reading this. This is WAR!

Tuesday, April 10

Kitty patrol!

There has been a kitty cat hanging around the front of our house now for a few days. I saw Mama petting it. (HOW BLASPHEMOUS!)
I bark at it ferociously through the window but, the darn thing won't budge. I think it knows Mama is a sucker for it. Mama is not normally a cat person so I am very jealous! And the kitty cat lies on it's back for Mama and she rubs his belly.
I feel so neglected. If you have any tips on how to get rid of it please let me know.
It's a good thing Mama hates being covered in cat hair or I have a feeling this beast may be sharing my bed soon. (Horrors!)

Monday, April 9

The Chelsea returns....

Hey Peeps,

Everyone has been wondering where I have been. A certain someone (MAMA) has been very busy and neglecting my blog. That certain someone (MAMA) however, is forgiven because she has been off for four days and took me lots of fun places! I loved having her around. She is like a Mama and a play buddy and a walking partner and a social bee and a servant all rolled into one.

So what have I been up to?
Lots and lots of walkies. And long ones! (YAY) Here is a private pee pee moment I can share with my intimate friends....

Playing with my toys - here's a great action shot where I am beating up my stuffy toy that says VET on it....ahhhh, how therapeutic!

And ofcourse visiting my peeps. Like my best friend and neighbour Audrey. I went to her house almost every day this week and she told Mama and I lots of great stories from her yester years. What a treat!
Speaking of treats, she always has something for me.