Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Sunday, April 30

Home Made Cookies

I am exhausted! I went for a long walk with Mama and we went out to visit friends and I ran around the backyard and played outside all day. Pooped! I tell ya! Mama decided she is not buying me treats anymore. Apparently they have too many ingredients that Mama cannot pronounce and therefore are bad for me - so she won't let me have them anymore. She is going to make them from scratch from now on. She made me peanut butter dog biscuits today. I turned my nose up at them. Mama wasn't too happy about that since she made four dozen of them. Oh well, I guess she will have to eat them herself. (She seems to think they are delicious!) In all fairness I never tried one. I know Mama means well and she is really trying to be the best Mama ever but, she used a shot glass to cut the cookie dough.

I don't think any Mother of the year award was awarded for this reason.

I could be wrong.

She tries really, really hard. God Love her.

Thursday, April 27

How much is the doggie in the window??

That's me in front of the window. I love to sit here and bark at people, cars, small animals and various imaginary items. I am just like the Wizard of Oz. You know how the Wizard of Oz appears to be mean and all powerful when he can't be seen behind the curtain? But, later when people see him up close he is actually not such a bad guy?
That's me.
I love to play the fierce guard dog. It works on canvassers and solicitors. They won't come to the front door. It's my "STAY AWAY" bark!
Actually, it's due to the BEWARE OF DOG signs plastered all over the house.
Mama says people don't need to know that behind the door is a little curly loveable furball who only wants to lick intruders to death.

Tuesday, April 25


I love my toys. Did I mention that? Each and every one is precious to me. Mama washes them all and inspects them to make sure they are not ripped. Sometimes I rip them by accident but, I bring them to Mama. She sews them up. She is like a doctor. A strange doctor.
Kind of like that "HOUSE" guy on TV. Only Mama's not as mean. Well, unless she is hungry.

Monday, April 24

Good as new.

Hey peeps!
All better today. I slept quite a bit and played with my toys. No more coughing! Thanks for your concern.
Tired again.
I hate rainy days.
Going to cuddle up with Mama.

Sunday, April 23

Gave Mama and Papa a scare

I threw up this morning as soon as I woke up. Then I was coughing for two hours straight! It was a horrible honking noise like a goose might make. Mama and Papa were going to take me to the vet until Mama got out her tried and true "How to know when to take your dog to the vet guide" The book basically asks all kinds of questions to determine if you need to go the vet or not. I would like to personally thank whoever the author is because not only did I NOT go to the vet...I got some yummy food. The book apparently said if I didn't eat and was lethargic to take me to the vet but, you know me...I ate. In fact I kept eating until they caught on and took my food away. It lasted for two hours and then suddenly, I was good as new. I pounced all around and beat up some of my toys, ate some kibble, played would never know I was ....well, sick as a dog...just hours prior. Mama even took me to a birthday party for our friend and neighbour. She is 91 years young!! That really cheered me up. I had a ball. I hope I don't have any more coughing fits. It scared me.
It's a good thing my boyfriend is long distance, I won't infect him with whatever it was. T-Man, no need to book the next flight out...I am going to be fine.

Saturday, April 22

I ain't nothing but a ....

Ode to my T-man. I wrote a song.

(To the tune of Hound Dog)
Hit it Elvis.....

I ain't nothing but a spoiled dog
lovesick all the time
I ain't nothing but a spoiled dog
lovesick all the time
I ain't never my boyfriend but, he's the love of my life.

I think he is High Class
but, hey so am I
I said he is High Class
and a little bit shy
He ain't never ate a rabbit
He's the apple of my eye.
So glad that he's mine.

Hope you like it....
Your beautiful and TALENTED girlfriend

Chelsea has left the building

Wednesday, April 19

Carry on!

Mama says she is tired. From what? We went for a long walk today and it was so nice out. Mama had to carry me home though because I plopped down on the grass and refused to walk. I did well for around 40 minutes and then decided I wanted to be carried. I wasn't was purely for the diva aspect. People smiled at Mama and made snide comments about me being spoiled and lazy. Ofcourse I am. I am a poodle. HELLO !!!

Tuesday, April 18

Waiting for Mama

First I wait for her to give me my breakfast. Then I wait for her to give me some of hers. Then I wait for her to come back home when she goes to work. Then she comes home, we go for a long walk and I wait for her to give me my dinner. Then I wait for her to give me some of hers. Then I wait for her to finish blogging, talking to Papa, cleaning up and finally....I wait for her to lift me on the big bed.
That's pretty much my day most of the time.

That's what I am going to call my autobiography. Waiting for Mama.

I am also working on a book about my long distance love affair. Well, the book is in my head. I havn't written it yet. Everytime I try to get something on paper I get depressed and want to eat. Then again I can come up with a million things that make me want to eat.

Monday, April 17


We had an extra long weekend as Mama works for the government now and had the day off. I will miss her tomorrow when she goes back to work. We went for an extra long walk today, we all slept in, cuddled on the couch. Mama made a superfantastic dinner and I pretty much went to sleep after that. Everything else is a blur. I don't really understand the signifigance of Easter. I heard mumblings about some guy named Jesus on a cross who died and rose again. And then I heard that an Easter Bunny hides chocolate eggs. Did that Jesus guy rise from the dead to find some chocolate? I know that would get me motivated to come back to life....and where are my eggs? I know I can't have chocolate but, I never got any eggs. I quite like eggs.
I know I am lucky though. I ate like a princess this weekend and my poor boyfriend T-Man is on some special diet so he got his normal food and no treats. I simply have to make this up to him and eat on his behalf.
Don't worry had a FEAST this weekend.
Your welcome.
What are girlfriends for?

Sunday, April 16

After the Beef.....

Boy am I pooped. We had a busy weekend and I went for lots of walks, visiting and the food we had was incredible. Friday we had fish. Mama and Papa had sole but, I got rainbow trout since that is the only fish I like. We had beef for dinner today. Angus Beef. Let me tell you my mouth is still watering from the memory. That is the best hunk of meat I have ever had. Paws down.
I need to sleep and digest my food and sleep some more and try and find out where Mama put the leftovers.

T-Man, I would of saved some for you but, I have no will power. Sorry. My intentions were good though. HAPPY EASTER Y'ALL!!

Thursday, April 13

Queen of the castle

I spent nearly all day outside. It was a lovely day. I love the sun. I love basking in it. I kept running out in the backyard and then I would lie on the picnic table and then come inside and two seconds later wanna be let out again and I kept doing this until finally Papa got sick of letting me out. I sometimes do these silly things like this to test them. Mama and Papa. They pretty much do whatever I want no matter how silly it may seem at the time. I have them wrapped around my paw.

Mama came home from work early and we went visiting in the neighbourhood. I had a great time and got to see the kids up the street. I must of done something really good cuz I got chicken and a piece of Papa's burger for dinner.

Maybe it was me wanting to go out every minute today, coming back in, going out, coming back in. Hmmmm. Have to try that again.

Tuesday, April 11

Jelly Belly?

My boyfriend is better. Thanks for your warm wishes. I am much more relaxed now. Maybe a little too relaxed. I pretty much slept all day. I woke up only to smells of food and plastic wrappers opening in hopes of potential snacks.
Papa thinks I am getting a belly. I think I am svelte and supermodel like. After all Mama is constantly chasing me with the camera.
T-Man likes what he sees. And that's all that matters to me. He's a smart dog!

Monday, April 10

Sore bum

My bum is sore again. I keep fussing with it. (Yes, I can reach...jealous?) Anyhow, Mama gave me a mini sponge bath in the sink and she cleaned my bum. I was very upset after that and refused to kiss her. The last time someone went near my bum it was the vet and ...well, I won't get into details but, it was traumatic.
Anyhow, Mama kept trying to get me to kiss her after and I refused. That is...until I saw her offering of forgiveness. That succulent piece of chicken.
Who's mad at Mama? Not me. Uh, uh, no way....she's the best.

T-Man, I hope you don't think I have an itchy bum due to hygiene reasons....the vet says my anal sacs don't drain properly because I am a small dog. (Now I am embarassed.....but, you still love me don't cha?)
I sure hope you are feeling better .....and now I feel silly because my itchy bum is trivial compared to you and the last few days.
Get well soon hon!!

Sunday, April 9

T-man is not well

My boyfriend had a rough weekend. Please visit his blog and give him get well wishes and lots of encouragement and love. T-man may have a cataract and he also had a seizure this weekend. I am very worried about him. He needs us right now.
Please wish my love well.

You can link to his blog at the right side of the page on the blog links.

Friday, April 7

Romeo, Romeo....where art thou?

More T-Man withdrawl. Rolled around with my stuffed puppy (which Mama got me as a lame attempt to make up for the fact she won't fly me to the States to see my boyfriend) and was also extremely protective of my little purple lamb. I am very maternal with that lamb. Playing house by myself I guess.

Wednesday, April 5

New toy

Mama bought me a new toy today. The yellow dog in the background of this photo. If she thinks this is supposed to be my "boyfriend" until I can smuggle myself in a Purolater bag to the states...she's kidding herself. It's cute but, it's no T-Man.
Although Mama redeemed herself by preparing chicken breasts for dinner and even better.... Papa cooked them. No offense to Mama but, he is the better cook. Nobody does chicken like Papa does. Pure perfection.

Tuesday, April 4

Ode to my Mama

I didn't get chicken tonight. I got dog food. Yuck. Must be because I am not showing Mama enough attention. I seem to be distracted by my boyfriend T-Man these days. (And have you seen him? Who can blame me?) Mama is happy for me and not jealous but, I figure I should pay some homage to her as a kiss up attempt. Hey, anything for chicken.
Did you know that when Mama gets up, she has her shower and goes down for breakfast. As soon as I hear her cereal bowl clink on the coffee table I have to go spend time with her??? (The cereal happens to be my fave but, Mama thinks it's because she is about to go to work)
So every morning I abandon Papa in the bed, run down to join Mama, scive some cereal off of her, go do my business in the backyard and then go back to bed and cuddle with Papa when Mama goes to work. I do miss her when she is gone. I sleep all morning practically and then around 2pm everyday Papa puts me in the window in my favorite chair to wait for Mama to come back home. I wait 3 hours for her!! Loyally by the window. Yep, you know what they say....don't bite the hand that feeds you.....lick it regularly and show Mama some love!!

Anyhow, hopefully this tribute will be enough to get me at least a drumstick tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes.

Monday, April 3

Lounging Goddess

It rained today. So yucky. I hate going out in the rain. My hair gets wet and icky. I just lounged pretty much all day. You'd be surprised how tired one can get from lounging.

It's not as easy as it looks.

I daydreamed too. About T-Man. My boyfriend. I dreamt that we split a roasted chicken by candlelight. (Actually I got most of the chicken cuz T-Man loves me and he's on a special diet anyhow)

Sunday, April 2

If Chelsea had children....

I meant Chelsea Clinton. You know - the ex president's daughter? (and NO I was not named after her) I thought this was interesting.

Poor kid.
Then I was thinking....since I have a boyfriend of my own now. I was curious. What would my baby look like?
Ok, well there's me....So take some beautiful, smart, witty, fun, loveable, spoiled, sweet, adorable, kissable genes and mix them with....

My boyfriend T-Man's handsome, darling, debonair, loving, elegant, distinguished, gentlemanly ways....and we would get...

The most precious poodle ever. Aw.
Too bad Mama and Papa took me to get that operation when I was six months old. I can't have any babies. On the bright side....I shall continue to be the baby of my family and be spoiled and cuddled constantly and loved dearly and get first dibs on chicken and treats......
Thank God I am fixed!!! What was I thinking? I need my energy for my walks and playing and hogging the bed and jumping up on Papa's chair and barking at people through the window and chewing on my tail and doing circus like tricks in order to get treats.
Geez, I am tired just thinking about it.
But, still, we'd have a cutie petutie poodle!

Saturday, April 1

No rest for the weary

I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I was too busy thinking of my boyfriend T-man last night. I didn't sleep all night. And you know what that means. If I don't sleep NOBODY does. I make sure of it. We were all in pretty miserable moods today and ofcourse I got blamed for it. I just kept fussing around on the bed. I also barked a couple times for no apparent reason. Then I got off the bed, went and ate some kibble at around 2:30 am and proceeded to go back to the big bed and wake up Mama to lift me back up. She reluctantly did and got upset with me which woke Papa up too. Then just as we all nestled down I let out a big burp. Right in Mama's ear!! That didn't go over too well. Mama and Papa were tired but, I wasn't. And why should they sleep if I can't? I swatted Mama's cheek with my paw a few times and woke her up. She thought I had to go pee so she tried to take me. Nope, didn't want to pee. Wanted to play. So what if it was 4:15 AM??? Anytime is playtime right? Apparently not so.

Anyhow as a result of the tossing, turning, burping, jumping, swatting.....we all slept in until lunch time.
I was so tired today but, everytime I tried to sleep - Mama or Papa woke me up on purpose!!!
They think it's funny.
Just wait!