Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Monday, November 28

I'm all Coiffed up

Ok, so last time I talked to you before our computer went on the fritz...and NO I had nothing to do with it, although I spent WAY more time with Mama than usual....anyhow, remember I had a groomer appointment? Here is my BEFORE photos.

And..... my AFTER shots.

It's like some kind of miracle diet. I am so skinny when I come home. My hair has already grown back in the last week or so. Not all of it, but, I am growing a little fro. Mama and Papa say I smell really good though. Anyhow, I can't remember anything else that happened except I ate chicken and got lots of treats.

Wednesday, November 16

Get a good look at me!

I heard Mama book a grooming appointment for me. It's tomorrow. I am trying to play sick and depressed but, they ain't buying it. I guess it'll be fine. It always the same. Mama and Papa will feel guilty for sending me there and feed me all kinds of great stuff when I get home!
Why do I hate going to the groomer's again? Beats me.

Tuesday, November 15

My new chaise lounge.

This is my new bed. Actually it's a 'chaise lounge'. So now I have a bed in Mama and Papa's room on the floor. A bed in the living room. A big daybed in my poodle room and now the chaise lounge in the office. Don't get me wrong, they are great places to relax and catch up on some rest but, when it comes to bedtime for real only Mama and Papa's actual bed is good enough for this sweet poodle......

Monday, November 14

Short strolls

Looks like Mama's got some new walk routine happening. Instead of our long walk we now go for several small ones. Fine with me. I'm a lazy bugger anyhow. I guess it's getting cold and that white stuff will be here soon Or...I am rubbing off on Mama and now she's a lazy bugger too.
If I could only get her to let me eat all the groceries............

Sunday, November 13


We had the BEST dinner ever! Chicken ofcourse but, Mama also made a baked macoroni and cheese casserole with lots of extra gooey cheese and some yummy crust! It was great! She must be taking cooking lessons cuz she is really becoming a master of the culinary kind! Good thing she loves me so much too cuz I always get something good. (Even when Papa's not looking)
Mama has a poem she always says to me before I eat....It goes like this:

Here's some num-num for your tum-tum to come out your bum-bum.

Num num is food.
Tum tum is my tummy
Bum bum, well we know what that is.

Mama is a nut job but, I love her so much and you know the famous saying....
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you!"

Saturday, November 12


Papa had a friend over to watch the hockey game. They kept talking about the leafs. Aren't those those darn things all over the front of our house and at the park? I hate those things they blow all over me when I am outside and they scare me sometimes. Where did they all come from anyhow? Suddenly they seem to be taking over from the orange things on the porch that are finally gone!
Personally, I think they were aliens or those scientology people.

Friday, November 11

It's the BEST part.

You know what I discovered? The best part of Hallowe'en is that after it's over there are lots of leftover snacks around the house!! Also at the stores they put the price down after the 31st and all the snacks are cheaper which mean humans go buy these things in droves. Some humans even buy stale snacks if they are on sale. Well, in all fairness to my Mama she didn't know they were stale when she bought them.
Hey, I got nothing against stale chips. Besides, there are dogs starving in the world and I have to make up for all of them. That's how I give to charity. I eat for others who are less fortunate.
I am a very generous being.
Do I smell licorice? Sorry! Gotta run!!

Thursday, November 10

Chelsea's secret

Just like Victoria, I have my own secret. Here I am strutting down the catwalk or in my case DOG walk. Mommy says I am her little supermodel. I love posing for photos. Boy, can I sashay
too! I got it going on!
Naomi Campbell eat your heart out! Hey, I hear Tyra Banks retired.
I need to find my Mama so we can do my portfolio!

Wednesday, November 9

Walkies with Papa

Mama was busy all day and went out so Papa took me for a walk! A small walk at the little park but, nonetheless he took me! The sky was angry and made a loud noise today. It scared me....but, not for long, I managed to fall back asleep.

Tuesday, November 8

MAMA Stewart.

I slept ALL morning. Mama had to rouse me from my sleep around 12:30 ish. Even the opening of the gourmet food can didn't do the trick. I guess I am hibernating with winter coming and all. I stayed by Mama's side all afternoon. She was preparing dinner. It smelled so good! Mama's becoming quite the cook. I love it. I always get my own little bowl. Unless it's stuff that is bad for my tummy. I wonder what Mama Stewart is cooking up tomorrow!
My stomach is growling just thinking about it.

Monday, November 7

Call me an Extrovert!

I had a great day! I saw ALL my neighbours who I love. First I saw Dominique and Zack. They are kids on my street. Dominique looks like somebody named Hermione from the Harry Potter Books. I have no idea what that all means but, Mama tells her that every single time we see her so it must be true. Dominique told Mama she is getting straight A's in school which threw Mama into another one of her, "See! You are Hermione!" fits. I licked them both until they had to go. Then we saw Jen. I went nuts. I cried, I shaked and licked her too. Mama goes and tells Jen that she was just about to clean my bum cuz I had a little accident. Mama is so embarassing! Is nothing sacred? Just cuz I am a dog doesn't mean I don't have some pride. Just because I poop in public doesn't mean I want the world to know the details of it.
Then we went to see Audrey and had a nice visit. Audrey gave me a jelly bean when Mama wasn't looking. I think Mama turns a blind eye because Audrey is elderly and would not hurt a fly, a telemarketer who calls at dinner maybe, but, not a fly.
I love all my friends and family and neighbourhood.
As the saying goes, I am one lucky dog!

Sunday, November 6

ON Alert!

My throat hurts. Normally, I am not a barker. I am a pretty quiet doggie. Not today! You see, I only bark when I hear strange noises. Let me tell you, I've been hearing them all day. The sky is whooshing around some big breeze's around here. Leaves are blowing and we don't own a leaf blower. All the stuff Papa had hanging from from hooks on the porch were all over the place. I am sure those orange pumpkin things did this! I knew they were trouble. I kept hearing something at the door and even though Papa said it was "wind", I think those orange things were trying to get in. They probably took my toy spiders that I was looking for all day yesterday! I am on alert. I am going to get to the bottom of this but, first thing's first...time for dinner. BYE!

Saturday, November 5

Inventory time

I spent the day taking inventory of my things. I do that from time to time. You never know when you may want to play with your purple stuffed bunny as opposed to your white stuffed bunny. Everything seems kosher. I noticed the two fake spiders Mama bought for Hallowe'en are missing. I must of hid them somewhere. Mama finally let me play with them after Hallowe'en was over. Last time I saw them was when Mama caught me with a decapitated spider head in my mouth.
Hmm...wonder where they can be?

Friday, November 4

Grrrrr-eat day!

I had a great day. Mama went grocery shopping. (Yummy stuff came home with her) The weather was nice and we went for a long walk. And I saw her!
Jen! The lovely lady who lives near us who always makes a big deal when she sees me. (As everyone should, but, they don't) I have not seen her for a long time but, I still remember her! She is so nice and loves me. She lets me lick her whole face and kisses me back. She even introduced me to her whole family! Now that's neighbourly hospitality!
I was so happy I started shaking and crying when I saw her. It was a great reunion.
Love ya Jen!
Need to sleep now. So tired from schmoozing.
Hope that Kibble Fairy comes back tonight.

Thursday, November 3

That Kibble Fairy is so nice.

The kibble fairy was here! I was so hungry today, ate all my dog food, had my vitamin and a treat and still was starving. I woke up in the middle of the night and tried to lick Mama's face out of her slumber. She just turned over and snored. I tried to wake Papa but, he must of been dreaming about Mama cuz he was just smiling in his sleep.
Finally, I decided if I leave it up to these two I will surely starve to death. I got up and went to the spare room. There was a bowl of kibble!!! There always is a bowl in there but, it's not always full seeing as I always empty it.
Anyhow, thanks Kibble Fairy! Next time leave more.

Wednesday, November 2

I ain't nothing but a LOUNGE dog lounging all the time..

I like to lounge. In fact I love to lounge. I lounge a lot. Here I am with my blue friend. Mama got him at IKEA one day. He is bendable and great to thrash around when I feel like giving one of my toys a beating.

But, I really like my blue friend. It's good company.
Especially when I'm lounging.
Did I mention I love to lounge?

Tuesday, November 1

I loved loved loved Hallowe'en!

I LOVED IT. IT WAS FANTASTIC. I am tired today - last night all these kids came to the door JUST to see me and then left. They had bags with them and were yelling '"TRICK OR TREAT!' Boy, that word 'treat' sure perks up my ears!
I love children and had the best time! I didn't bark at any of them, I just did my puppy paddle thing that I do with my arms. Some of the kids were dressed oddly, I guess their parents did that to them. My mama always tries to dress me funny, sadly, the viking costume was not her first attempt.
Anyhow, these kids were great! Some I knew from our street! How exciting it all was!

I hope they come back tonight!