Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Wednesday, May 24

Driving Miss Chelsea

Papa, Mama and I went for a car ride today. I love going in the car. Everytime I see people on the sidewalk I get so excited cuz I think they are walking over to see me!
Well, aren't they?
Anyhow, I love going for rides just as long as the destination isn't the groomer or the vet. I am happy to report this time we were taking Mama to the vet. Well, the vet for humans I think they are called doctors. Mama is fine just going for a check up.
I wish I could of gone in with her but, I had to wait outside with Papa. I would of loved to see Mama shaking on that steel table when she got her rabies shot. I love Mama but, it would make me feel better to know that I am not the only scaredy cat in the house.
When we got home Mama took me to the park and all the little kids from the neighbourhood daycare were there. They rushed over to play with me and took turns petting me, giggling when I tried to lick them and being really cute in general.
Not as cute as me though.
Nobody's as cute as me.
Except my boyfriend.

Tuesday, May 23

I'm baaaaaaaack

Sorry I havn't been blogging peeps. I've been very busy being a poodle. It's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes I am so tired. Sleeping all day is draining.
My boyfriend had surgery on his cataracts and he's gonna be fine! I have been sending cyber kisses to him all day and I hope he heals really fast.
When he's all better and can see really good I am going to send him a photo of my beautiful self but, only in pieces. He may not be able to handle all of this at once.

It's a cross I bear.

Tuesday, May 16

Darn, got suckered again!

First thing this morning, got up with Mama, had my breakfast, some of hers, pooped, peed, went back to bed with Papa. All a normal morning right?
Wrong. I though it was a nice surprise when Papa and I went for a car ride. I was enjoying the scenery, wagging my tail, having a ball then suddenly we were there.
The vet's office.
Darn, I've been had again.
I shook for a while when we got inside but, this time I was a brave girl! Papa says it's because I am a big girl now and not a baby anymore. I was very mature. The vet gave me some needles, a check up and I had my anal sacs drained (Yup, something I need every couple months cuz my bum bum is small and I have a problem emptying the sacs on my own) I am such a good patient I even wag my tail as the doc invades my very private areas.
Anyhow, I'll save you the gory details but, I am good as new!
Got my worm/parasite/flea meds that Mama and Papa get for me yearly just as a precautionary measure.
The best part is I don't have to go for another year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 14

Ode to my Mama

It's mother's day. Mama's day at our house. I love my Mama and wanted to dedicate this entry to her. She is so nice and loves me very much. She does little things every day that I sometimes take for granted. Among them are,
1) Mama NEVER gets mad when I wake her up. Sometimes I pounce on her chest. Sometimes I swat her on the face with my paw. Sometimes I just lick her with no warning. She never gets upset! She rubs my tummy and tells me she loves me.
Why is this so amazing? Nobody else is allowed to wake up Mama. Ever. She will growl like a bear and rip their head off. But, me? No problem! Sometimes, I wake her up at 2 am or 4 am just to see if she's going to be all lovey with me. And she is! (By the way, being Mother's Day, I let her sleep in today. It's the least I can do)
2) Mama feeds me first. That is a big deal for her. She loves her food. She lets her dinner get cold while I get a hot piping meal. The best part is I usually get some of hers too! Mama's the best.
3) Mama separates my kibble for me. You see, I eat kibble that has 5 different pieces in it. I only like 4 of them. I will pick through my kibble and take out all the ones I like and leave the crappy piece behind. To save me the trouble, Mama goes through my entire bag of kibble and takes out the piece I don't like. She thinks I don't know but, I noticed right away and LOVE her for it. Hungry Poodles don't have time to sort kibble out.
4) Mama always makes sure my bum bum is fresh smelling and clean. You wouldn't believe how many dogs we see that have...well, um, not so clean bums. Mama always has wipes on hand and even will give me a sponge bath if the occasion calls for it. Believe me, having a clean bum is something humans take for granted....until they can no longer clean their own bums. I hope Mama realizes how much I appreciate this since I can't get back there myself.
5) It doesn't matter how tired Mama is she always takes me for a walk. Even in treacherous weather conditions. She knows that I love the fresh air. Truth be known, she needs the excercise more than I do. I just tag along to make it interesting for her and so she is not alone.
6) Mama lets me take up her side of the bed and even if I lie on her bad shoulder she never makes me move.
7) Mama is the master hunter! She goes out hunting and brings home bags and bags of chicken, beef, side dishes and water! She doesn't even carry a rifle!!! I don't know how she does it but, I really admire her hunting skills!
8) Mama picks me up when I am tired and don't feel like walking, climbing stairs - you name it. Sometimes I milk the situation and she's none the wiser.
9) Mama makes sure I am clean, groomed and go to the vet on a regular basis. Even though I hate the bastards. I know she means well.
10) Mama tells me she loves me all the time. It can get irritating but, I realize lots of doggies don't have people who love them and tell them that. We understand! We really do.

So - TO MY MAMA......HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Your dogter,

Thursday, May 11


I heard a conversation today that really upset me. Papa told Mama he wants to get me a baby sister. It can't be!!! I am queen of this castle, princess of this house, diva of the backyard.....and I want it to stay that way. Papa was saying he thinks I need a playmate. I hate when Papa thinks sometimes....Has he seen my baskets upon baskets of toys??? The last thing I need is another toy to play with!! I was so upset! That is until I heard Mama say, "And what if her little sister bullies Chelsea around or what if having another pup tramautizes her?"
YAY MAMA!! Good one!
Then Papa said he was just thinking it would be nice to have another Chelsea running around the house. To which Mama replied, "There will never be another Chelsea."

Mama for President!
I think I will hold my poop Saturday morning and let her sleep in for once....or better yet, I'll jump on Papa's head and lick his face until he wakes up!!!

For more talk of other dogs. Whew!!

Wednesday, May 10


I am so hungry these days! I am just famished. I work it all off by running around the backyard with Papa. I run really fast and go in circles and circles and then plop down. I love running around the backyard. I am not allowed to run free at the park. Mama keeps me on a tight leash. Literally.
So all this running makes me hungry. I still manage to maintain my girlish figure. Since I have a boyfriend now, this is really important to me. I know he brags to his friends about my supermodel physique. And why wouldn't he?

Monday, May 8

My boudoir(s)

As you all know, I got me a man. T-Man. Alas, our relationship is long distance so we have never actually met. The other day he left me a comment and asked me if a certain picture was my actual bed. After vehemently blushing, I decided to ask Mama to take photos of all of my beds so that my boyfriend can see them.

Ok, T-Man, here is bed no. 1. This is my day bed. I sleep here during the day. Usually on the bed or the plushy carpet. This is my actual room. Mama and Papa call it the Poodle Room.

Here is my play area in the poodle room. You can see the poodle statues and my pictures on the shelf. I love the plushy carpet in here. I love to play in this room!

Here's a close up of the shelves. That is me in the photo with my hair done. Only thing missing....a photo of you.

Thus, the poodle room name. These are really nice poodle toys I am not allowed to play with. The first week I saw them I cried everyday because I wanted them. I forgot all about them now. Besides, Mama bought me some duplicates to keep me happy.
Yep, Mama and Papa are nuts...could you imagine if they had a hamster? They'd have a room with a huge wheel!
Mama had the vision for the room....Papa created it.

This is my blog bed. Actually, it's a chaise lounge. I lay here in the computer room while Mama blogs. So I spend a lot of time here.

This is my bed in Mama and Papa's room. I used to use it a lot until I discovered that I could worm my way into the big bed. I also have a bed in the living room but, Mama too lazy to go downstairs and take the photo.

And here is the big bed. It's my favorite!!! Hope that clarifies things.

Sunday, May 7


Mama is always bragging to people how I never destroy stuff. So I decided to destroy something. I guess that's what dogs are supposed to do. I ripped up the comforter in my poodle room and tore the fluff out. That's me above holding it in between my paws. Mama didn't even get mad at me. She actually thought it was funny since she caught me red handed with the fluffy stuff in my mouth. I didn't actually chew any.
It was ok and stuff but, I won't be doing that again. Ripping stuff apart is over rated.
I just wanted to try since my boyfriend T-Man says he likes to rip his toys apart. I am way too attached to my toys to try that so I thought I would try the comforter. I am not attached to that thing at all.

Tuesday, May 2

Mama's a dancing machine

Mama came home, took me out for a walk then rushed home and changed her clothes into something comfy. Ooh - I thought maybe another walk? No such luck. She was in front of the tv jumping, dancing, stomping her feet to some really loud music and some woman who kept yelling "That's it! Four more, three more, two more"........I barked my head off! What was she thinking??? I have never seen Mama do this? I got scared and kept barking and finally Mama calmed me down and assured me she was fine. (Yeah - in her mind maybe)
Then she was lying on the floor trying to get up and she couldn't. I jumped on her ready to give her mouth to mouth or provide assistant when suddenly she gently pushed me out of the way and said, "Chelsea! Please! I am trying to do sit ups!!"
Sit ups??? Well for someone who was trying to sit up , she sure was having a hard time. I was just trying to help.
I will never understand humans.

Monday, May 1

Dogs bums stink!

The weather was lovely so Mama and I went for an extra long walk and since it was right after Mama got home from work - there were doggies everywhere!! First I got excited and playful but, most of them were bigger than me and I don't like that. I get scared, lie on my back and cry as though Mama just took my food bowl away....
We must of seen like 16 different dogs! They were all pretty nice except one. He kept trying to jump on my back and I gave him a swat and then jumped up on Mama. She saved me from the pervert and luckily, we were on our way.
Wait until my boyfriend hears about this!!!!
I was so glad to get home. I had to greet at least half of them and let me tell you....their bums are really stinky!! I guess their Mamas don't clean their bums with baby wipes after they poop.
Why are you laughing?