Memoirs Of A Spoiled Poodle

Chelsea the canine supermodel shares her daily diary with you. SIT. STAY. GOOD BLOG!

Monday, July 31

Wake me up when summer's over

Another scorcher of a day! I wonder if Mama and Papa picked up and moved us to Kuwait or somewhere desert like? Except the house and backyard sure look the same? It is so hot that I have no energy. I still muster the strength to eat in case you were worried. I go for short walks these days. I walk til I poop and then I am pooped and lie down. Mama ends up carrying me back home. She complains and whines about it but, she's getting killer biceps because of me! Do you know how much humans pay for personal trainers??? Mama should be happy she's getting it for free!

Sunday, July 30

It's hot and not feeling too hot.

I puked today. I was smart about it though. I was laying on the nice living room carpet when I felt it coming on and ran into the kitchen. I let the floor have it. It's just too damn hot. We all went out visiting today and I wasn't outside that long but, the humidity does not agree with me!
How do the dogs in really hot countries do it? What is their secret?
I just got groomed too and it isn't helping.
I need some TLC.
Oh T-Man...where are you???

Tuesday, July 25

Being me is draining....

Mama took me out visiting today. As per usual I was charming as heck and the centre of attention. I love to ham it up. Must be my supermodel side. I love people. I love doing tricks for them and licking them and stealing their food when they aren't looking.
I am exhausted from being Miss Congeniality.
And so, just like the crowned Miss Universe did the other night....I am passing out.
(Only I ate today, I don't think she did)
My bed is calling. Bye.

Monday, July 24

Beauty Sleep

Here I am with Mama getting our beauty sleep. I know what you're could someone as beautiful as me need beauty sleep? Well, I have to maintain my supermodel looks. My boyfriend T-Man should be back from holidays soon and when he visits my blog I want to look my best.
Oh, don't tell Mama I put this picture here. She hates it. Clearly because you can tell which one of us REALLY needs the beauty rest. Sure, Mama's not bad looking but, beside me who would even notice her???

Sunday, July 23

Tired but, still terrific.

My doggie cousins Jessie and Jake came over Friday night and Mama and Papa doggiesat them. Jake chased me all over the backyard and I played hard to get for a while. Then I remembered my faithful boyfriend T-Man who is on vacation with his mom and decided to cool it. Jake is a handsome dog but, he is my cousin so that would be kind of gross if we dated. Jessie and I had to share a hamburger for dinner. I wasn't thrilled about that but, half a burger is better than none at all. Jessie cuddled Papa and Jake cuddled Mama and I got jealous. I ended up cuddling up with all of them on the big bed. I was a little bugged because I had to share the affection, but, I knew eventually my Aunt was going to come back and get them so I was a good sport!!
I am very tired from playing and running. Saturday I was depressed and lay out on the deck looking for my buddies. I secretly missed them and wished they were here for me to play with but, as soon as I smelled dinner, I realized I didn't miss them all that much.
I simply CANNOT be asked to share my chicken!

Wednesday, July 19

The sucking monster!

I am so terrified of the sucking monster Mama has. When it's off it's not so intimidating but, when she pushes the ON button, I run for cover. Mama thinks it's funny when I scamper away but, what would you do? That thing destroys everything in it's path. Items are sucked up to never be seen again. I ain't taken any chances.

I was very brave in posing for this photo. I may look fearless but, believe me, I was putting on a brave face! I am always glad when Mama puts this beast away!!

For the record, I am also terrified of the hair blowing creature......but, Mama doesn't use that one hardly ever. Something about split ends.

Monday, July 17

Young and the Restless!

This weather is too hot for me. I can't sleep. And you know what that means. If I can't sleep NOBODY's getting any shut eye around here. Mama and Papa are pretty grumpy from me waking them up every twenty minutes but, what am I suppose to do?? I can only entertain myself for so long before I require tummy rubs and kisses. Even if it is 4:28 AM and Mama has to work the next day.
Mama can always sleep at her desk. She probably does anyhow!

Sunday, July 16

Girl's Weekend

Mama and I had a girls weekend together. Papa went to his friend's cottage. Mama and I had so much fun. We ate things we weren't suppose to, slept late, cuddled all morning and managed to bond even more than we did before. (And you thought it wasn't possible!) Mama's friends came over and we watched movies. I got so much attention and everyone wanted to play with me and took turns rubbing my tummy. We also went visiting and made our neighbourhood rounds to all my adoring fans. My Mama's the best! And not just because she lets me do whatever I want.

I am exhausted from it all. I will sleep like a baby....then again, I always do.

Sunday, July 9

Effortless Supermodel

I have red highlights on my face. Do you see them right by my nose? They really bring out my eyes don't you think? Mama says human females pay lots of money for color like this. I have it naturally. I really am a natural beauty, the eighth wonder on the world if you will.....And it takes no effort on my part. I wake up looking like this. Yup. It's a gorgeous cross I bear.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Thursday, July 6

Let's Talk About Sox

I love socks. My first toy ever was a stinky sock. When Papa and Mama got me they were not really prepared toy wise so Papa gave me a sock and it's been love ever since. Most people think they are stinky and sweaty but, dogs don't! But, then again we greet each other by smelling each others bums.
Things have changed around here. I have more toys now than all the kids I know combined....but, I like to go back to my roots and chew on a stinky sock every now and then.

Wednesday, July 5

Dirty Word!

Don't say the word soccer. It's a dirty word around here. Mama's team lost. She was dissapointed although proud of Portugal for making it so far. I guess we are jumping on the Italy band wagon only because nobody in this house is very happy with France right now. I was going to point out to Mama that maybe I should be supporting my fellow French Poodles but, when I saw her scowl I thought I better not.
Mama was so pre-occupied she didn't even notice I was digging with my nose in the backyard and brought the dirt into the house. That's ok....if there is one thing besides soccer that those portuguese do well it's clean! Too bad there is no cleaning championship. Portugal would win for sure!

Monday, July 3

On guard.

Papa put another flag up. I am on alert in case anyone comes back and tries to mess with it. They better watch out! I'll bark and growl and I swear I'll, I'll, I'll.....well, I'll lick them to death! That's right!
Laugh all you want but, not everybody likes a poodle licking.
Especially since I have spent the better part of the day cleaning my bum.
Did I mention my poo was runny and putrid smelling today?


Sunday, July 2


Mama, Papa and I had such a nice day yesterday. In fact, so nice I forgot to blog. We watched the world cup soccer match. Portugal beat England! This meant lots of screaming at our house. Jumping, shouting, whistle name it. Personally, I was bugged by all the noise until I noticed Papa preparing a celebratory steak dinner. So I got some of that and we had a very nice night all together as a family.
Then this morning we wake up and it seems a disgruntled English fan has ripped our Portuguese flag down from in front of our house and broke the pole holding it up into two pieces! Humans are ridiculous creatures at times! I really don't understand them! That is why I don't look very happy in my photo even though we won. (Plus Mama woke me out of a gorgeous nap I was having to take this silly photo!)
Anyhow, they can break our flag but, they can't break our spirit!!
Portugal plays France next. I am torn. You see poodles originated in France thus, the term French Poodle but, since Portuguese hands feed me I guess we all know where my loyalty lies.