Wanna be a bear

I want to be bear. Don't they hibernate all winter long? That's a good deal. I hate this weather. Brrrr.... You humans have it so easy. You can go to the bathroom inside. My toilet is mother nature. I sometimes face treacherous weather conditions just to relieve myself. Yep, human and bears have it pretty good.
I also want to be a ground hog. Cuz on the day they would ask me if I saw my shadow I would just say yes. Even if I didn't. Then the winter would be shorter. What's one little white lie to get us closer to spring??